Estimated reading time: 4 minutes
This is the follow-up to How to Take the High Road, where I introduced the H.I.G.H. framework: a set of principles for navigating conflict without losing your integrity.
This time, we’re getting tactical. Because even the high road has potholes.
You’ve chosen the high road.
You’re doing the work.
Grace over grudge. Boundaries over blowups.
But then…
Someone pushes.
The boundary you set gets ignored.
The grace you offered gets mistaken for weakness.
And suddenly, you’re not sure if you’re holding the high road—or just holding your breath.
That’s where the R.O.A.D. framework comes in. It’s not a shortcut or a detour. It’s a way to keep going—with clarity, conviction, and your integrity intact.
A Real-World Detour
Before real estate, long before Zillow, I worked as a process engineering technician in a semiconductor manufacturing facility.
The work was technical, precise, and highly collaborative. One of my closest colleagues was a senior tech I respected. We swapped ideas, covered each other’s shifts, talked shop, and grabbed lunch. We trusted each other.
So when one of my ideas—something I’d spent weeks developing and testing—was pitched by him in a meeting as his own, I was stunned. No mention of me. Just his name, his spin, his credit.
I told myself it was a misunderstanding. A slip.
Then it happened again.
And again.
What started as shock turned into sadness, then frustration, then a looping question I couldn’t shake:
What the hell is going on here?
I tried to talk to him, to reason with him.
His response?
“I’m the lead tech. People are going to believe me, not you.”
That’s when it shifted from frustration to something deeper: a breach of trust and a test of principle.
This wasn’t just about getting credit. It was about what’s right and what isn’t.
I didn’t want to escalate. But eventually, I had to do something. I had to decide who I was going to be in the moment.
I didn’t have a framework back then—not yet.
But looking back, this is exactly the map I followed.
So I walked myself through what I now call the R.O.A.D. framework:
The R.O.A.D. Framework
R — Recognize
Start by naming what’s real.
Not just what’s being said, but what’s underneath it.
What are you feeling? What’s actually happening?
Sometimes it’s miscommunication.
Sometimes it’s manipulation.
You need to know which.
O — Own
Own your response. Your tone. Your stance. Your integrity.
That doesn’t mean taking blame for what isn’t yours. It means showing up with clarity about what is.
Own your truth—let others own theirs.
A — Articulate
Say what needs saying—calmly, clearly, and without apology for your boundaries.
That might sound like:
“This doesn’t work for me.”
“Here’s what I need.”
“I’m not available for that kind of conversation.”
Say it. Then stop talking. You don’t need to defend your boundary like it’s up for debate.
D — Decide
Not every situation calls for confrontation. But silence isn’t always strength, either.
Do you re-engage? Do you escalate? Do you walk away?
In my case, I brought it to our manager. Nervously. Reluctantly. But firmly.
Turned out, he was wrong—about who’d be believed.
And in the end, that mattered more than getting credit ever could.
Taking the High Road Isn’t Passive
The H.I.G.H. framework helps you be the person you want to be.
The R.O.A.D. framework helps you act like that person when things get hard.
When grace feels risky and boundaries feel brittle—don’t shrink.
Take the R.O.A.D.
And keep walking.
Want to Go Deeper?
If the H.I.G.H. framework resonated with you, the R.O.A.D. is its natural next step.
Feel free to share this post with someone who’s trying to hold the high road—and could use a better way forward.
(And yes, here comes the shameless plug: Send them the link to subscribe.)
As always, your comments are welcome—especially if they come with questions, pushback, or stories of your own.
More on both the H.I.G.H. and R.O.A.D. frameworks is coming soon. Stay tuned!
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