Sometimes the High Road is Only Two Words Away

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

Most mornings, I check my Facebook Memories—that little collection of past posts that Facebook compiles daily. It’s a cool way to surface fond memories—pictures of the kids, vacations, whatever. Of course, sometimes it brings up memories like a beloved friend or pet passing away. Or a heartbreaking news story. But that’s all part of life, right?

A couple of days ago, Memories presented a blast from the past—a comment left by a reader on one of my columns from Inman News (a real estate news site) and my response, which was published in November 2019, a week before Thanksgiving.

Above is a screenshot of that comment. I’d link to the original article, but it’s stuck behind a paywall. You can read it on my personal blog if you’re so inclined. This particular comment was removed at some point, either by the publisher or the author. I’ve also posted the full comment below, in case you’re reading this on a phone and can’t see it well enough to read.

About the Inman Piece

I wrote my article in response to an investigative report titled Long Island Divided, published by Newsday three days earlier. Literally, within minutes of Long Island Divided’s publication, many agents proclaimed it “fake news!” “nonsense,” and “utter bullshit.” In other words, denial of racism in real estate sales ran runs rampant.

My article focused on denial. Apparently, my acceptance of the fact that discrimination exists in real estate sales set off my commenter, Mr. Wedell. (That, and likely his disdain for all things Zillow—and by extension, me.)

A key point of my piece was captured in one of my all-time favorite lines:

If you don’t believe this investigation, if you don’t believe discrimination happens daily in your backyard, then you need to wake up and secure yourself a seat on the next train headed out of Fantasyland.

About the Comment

You can read the comment from the posted screenshot or the copy below. Mr. Wedell couldn’t be more wrong in his proclamation that I wrote the piece to “make myself relevant,” “drive wedges,” or for my own gain. Nor was I, “among the many now disposed of by their [Zillow’s] new leadership.”

Wedell’s comment actually helps make my point—that many are in utter denial that a problem even exists. Newsday didn’t “…apply percentages and numbers that are as phony as a $3 bill,” they spent three years investigating the issue, recording 240 hours of video with agents demonstrating racist behavior, and publishing tens of thousands of words and supporting evidence.

Taking the High Road

I don’t know how long I pondered my response to this comment. Probably not more than a few minutes. It would have been easy to pick apart:

I could have gone snarky:

• Glenn Kelman is a respected competitor, not my “nemesis.” Either way, at least I know how to spell his name.
• Tell me you didn’t read Newsday’s report without actually saying it.
• How exactly did the “new leadership” fire me if they started over a year after my retirement?
• Denial is a terrible thing. (This is factual, but fits under snarky, too.)

I could have gone factual:

• Please explain to me how Videos #32, 153, and 207 (and every other one) don’t show racist behavior.
• What does Newsday have to gain from spending three years and thousands of dollars on this report? Why would they be “looking for a problem?”
• Do you honestly believe they have been handing out the Peabody Awards for 79 years for “phony” journalism? (To be fair, Newsday wasn’t awarded a Peabody until several months after publication. But this is a good response for those still in denial today.)

I could have “gone corporate”:

• Thanks for commenting, Ray. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, and I appreciate you taking the time to read my article and leave a comment.

Instead, I opted to take the high road and simply responded, “Happy Thanksgiving!” Although a higher road might be to ignore the comment (and yeah, “Happy Thanksgiving” is slightly snarky). A response lets the commenter and other readers know I saw the comment.

As for being slightly snarky, it’s important to be you. To inject your personality into interactions with others. It helps humanize your brand. Those who know me would probably say, “That’s very you.” Sure, this commenter doesn’t know me, but responses aren’t just for the commenter. Consistency matters, and the easiest way to be consistent is by being yourself.

I’m not a fan of ignoring commenters. It’s important from your brand’s perspective and reputation (be that your business or personal brand) to be involved. It’s also important to set the record straight—but you also need to balance that with the time and effort involved, along with the potential to make a cogent point to a receptive listener. Experience taught me that it’s often a waste of time to help card-carrying members of the Zillow Haters of America club recognize any form of reality.

Sometimes, a two-word response is the best option.

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Full Comment on Inman Piece

My reaction to this comment was, in its entirety, “Happy Thanksgiving!“

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